We Want Your Vote!

It's that time again. The ad and endorsement wars have started here in New York for the presidential primary next Tuesday.

Super Tuesday is approaching, and New York is one of those states participating in the presidential primaries. Although I haven't seen any ads up until a week ago, now I'm seeing at least one Obama or Clinton ad per commercial break on TV. Local and state politicians and the newspapers are rushing to endorse one or the other:

The New York Post has endorsed Obama, while the New York Times has started running a TV ad supporting Hillary. [In reality, I'm not at all surprised they split over the two candidates. I hear the two newspapers really can't stand each other very much.]

The Kennedy family has also split over the two. On Team Obama: Senator Ted Kennedy and JFK's daughter Caroline Kennedy. Team Hillary: Kathleen Kennedy Townsend (fmr. lieutenant gov. of MD) and Bobby Kennedy Jr. Although the Kennedy clan is better associated with Massachusetts, the late Bobby Kennedy Sr. was once one of New York's senators, and the whole clan still has some pull here in the Northeast. I'm just waiting for one of them to be seen in an ad for their candidate. [Note: just after typing this post, I saw a pro-Hillary ad by Bobby Kennedy Jr.-- that didn't take long, did it?]

And the endorsements and ads are hardly bad now-- they're all more interested in promoting their candidate, rather than tearing down their candidate's opponent. But I'm not looking forward to later in the year, when the general election attack ads start!

Alternative Source Citations

Something that tickled my sense of humor: I saw posted printout today [source unknown], spoofing some of the Modern Language Association's elaborate citation rules. Oh, the days of college papers, endnotes and in-text citations...

Newest Rulings on Alternative Source Citing

Rest-Stop Restroom Graffiti

When citing rest-stop graffiti:

1. List the name of the rest area (if it has a name) in italics.
2. Name the state in which it was located.
3. Name the highway it abuts (with direction headed).
4. List the nearest mile marker.
5. List the date the graffiti was observed.

Example: "Head you wouldn't believe, call 555-3278." [The Ida C. Collins Memorial Rest Area, Wisconsin; Interstate 94 South (Mile Marker 218): May 14, 1997.]

Magic 8-Balls

When citing Magic 8-Balls:

1. List the question asked the Magic 8-Ball (in quotes).
2. Identify the location where you consulted the Magic 8-Ball.
3. List the manufacturer of the Magic 8-Ball (in italics).
4. List the date that you consulted the Magic 8-Ball.

Example: "Reply Hazy, Try Again Later." ["Will I get laid tonight?" Oasis Tavern, 6907 N. Sheridan Rd., Chicago, IL: Tyco Toys, Inc., January 12, 1998.]

Alien Mind Transmissions

When citing telepathic transmissions from alien planets/spacecraft:

1. Name the aliens who sent the message (if known).
2. Identify the location of planet or craft.
3. Identify the location where transmission was received.
4. List the date the transmission was received.

Example: "Internal combustion vehicles are wasteful and evil. You must stand in the street and curse their drivers and occupants immediately." [The Elders of Antares 7; A Ship Orbiting Saturn; Corner of Lawrence Avenue and Broadway, Chicago, IL: July 5, 1989.]

Epithets Hollered Out Car Windows

When citing epithets hollered out car windows:

1. Describe the vehicle from which epithet emanated (approximations are acceptable in cases of great speed).
2. Identify the location where the incident occurred (see #1).
   
3. List the date the incident occurred (see #1).

Example: "Hey Buddy, who the F*CK taught you how to drive?" [Large Delivery-Type Truck, Near Main and Chicago Streets; Evanston, IL: March 5, 1999.]

Awesome copywriting!

I LOVE this flap copy! It would definitely make me pick up the book...

From I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence by Amy Sedaris (Warner Books, 2006)--

Dear Reluctant Shopper,

Welcome to my flap. If you are reading this, I can only assume that you're hesitating to buy this book. Maybe you're thinking I don't know anything about this book; I would like more information. Should I buy it based solely on the exceptionally striking cover shot? Well, that's a good enough reason for me.

Do I really need to add that there's a secret poster you can see only after the book is purchased? A poster that involves plenty of skin and would make a perfect addition to any basement rec room? Why are you still reading?

Look, your wishy-washy attitude is really starting to rub me the wrong way. You know that? maybe you should set the book down and let someone more attractive buy it! I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. Deep breath... let it out slowly. I'm sure in some circles you're considered attractive. I'm sure by now you're skipping past the register... What, you still haven't bought it? What's the matter, can't read? Who cares? I can't write. Besides, this book is so visual a monkey could enjoy it.

All right, fine, you win. I'll tell you a little about the book. The first thing you should know is: I like parties! Here are some of the helpful suggestions you'll get by reading this sturdy book:

1. It's always a good idea to stock your neighbor's apartment with the basics (alcohol, ice, corn chips...) so when you run out at three o'clock in the morning, you know whose door to knock on.
   
2. Try filling your medicine cabinet with marbles. Nothing announces a nosy partygoer more successfully than an avalanche of marbles striking a porcelain sink.
   
3. Pre-crack all your liquor bottles. No one wants to be the first, especially at a wake.
   
4. Give the party a strict time span and if it's not going well at least you know when it will be over.
   
5. Have toilet paper.

Convinced? I thought so. Just remember: sometimes you can judge a book by its cover, or in this case, its tremendously gorgeous cover.

I'll see you on the inside.

I wish I could say the cover copy I write is all "make-you-want-to-buy-the-book" quality like this, but the truth is, a fair amount of copywriting is done by overworked assistants like me who have little time for creativity at work (not this copy: this looks like a copywriter or editor familiar with the author's humor). In the past, I've usually managed to get copy written and turned in by deadline, but not lately! Over the last three weeks, cover copy has been pretty low on my priority scale... and definitely not my best work... :(

Photo courtesy of AmySedarisRocks.com

Rerouting jets

So the Federal Aviation Administration is in the process of overhauling the jet routes over the northeastern part of the U.S.-- in particular, a 31,000 square-mile airspace from New York City to Philadelphia, one of the biggest problem spots in the country for air traffic congestion. Over the next five years, the FAA will be introducing new routes for some of the airports in the area, among them: Newark-Liberty, Philadelphia, and LaGuardia International Airports.

[For those of you who might think this has no bearing on your travel, consider this: Department of Transportation Secretary Mary Peters and the FAA have estimated that three quarters of all chronic airline delays across the country are due to congestion in the New York City airspace.]

Most of the current flight routes were laid out in the 1960s; obviously, neighborhoods have grown and changed since that time. An example of one of these older flight routes is the path my plane takes when I head home to Knoxville: Moments after taking off, southbound planes bank out over an industrial port district (seen in the background of this photo), away from the residential area of Elizabeth, NJ, which sits right next to the airport. The route changes will allow departing planes to head out in several directions, which means some planes will fly directly over the center of Elizabeth.

Unfortunately, a sound-modeling study by the FAA shows that, while the new routes will cut flight delays by about 20%, the noise will increase somewhat in already-loud areas. Elizabeth's residents are fighting the changes. Residents of some suburbs outside Philadelphia are also upset with the new air routes, which were implemented there on December 19th. Since that date, noise complaints to the Philadelphia airport have, predictably, increased.

There are currently about 12 lawsuits trying to stop the plan, and lawmakers in the affected areas are demanding changes that don't hurt their constituents. One New Jersey senator is threatening to block confirmation of the acting FAA administrator if the agency doesn't stop implementing the new routes. It's not that I don't feel some sympathy, but basically, it's a NIMBY argument: Not In My BackYard. Nobody wants planes flying over their houses or apartments (or railroad tracks or a superhighway running through their backyards). I understand that. But what do you expect when you live right next to the airport???

I've been lucky: my apartment in Queens is maybe a mile and a half from LaGuardia International, one of the busiest airports in the U.S. They have both West-to-East and South-to-North runways; their South/North route brings planes in for a landing less than a mile east of my place. When the winds are particularly strong, forcing pilots to alter their approaches to the runways, sometimes they fly almost directly over my street. But that doesn't happen often, and even when it does, I almost never notice the planes now.

I live in a noisy city. Sirens from ambulances, firetrucks, and police cars are a daily occurrence; if I didn't hear at least one during the day, I'd wonder what was wrong. There are a number of signs around the city warning of a fine for honking, but they're a complete waste of money in a city like this: like the sirens, honking is part of the 'music' inherent to any big city. Add to that the noise from subway trains (believe me, they can be pretty loud!) and the constant construction all over the city (jackhammering is my favorite!) and you learn to live with some level of noise. It's part of adjusting to life in the Northeast!

Do I miss living in rural East Tennessee? Sure, I miss the peace and quiet of the nights there (or the white noise of crickets in the summer). I miss having a car and driving where I want, when I want. I miss my dogs, the scenic views of livestock on rolling hills, and the beauty of the Great Smoky Mountains. I miss the feeling of having space around me. But right now, I'm where I want to be, living in one of the greatest cities in the world. For that, I can live with some airplanes overhead.

The sky is falling...

Does anybody else get the feeling Mother Nature's been trying to say something to us about our environmental practices lately??

• Thunder and lightning in January
• Nearly 70° temperatures in the middle of winter (also January)
• Torrential downpour and flooding that shuts down the NYC subways for hours last August
• Tornado in Brooklyn (courtesy of the same storm above)
• Decreasing snowfall in the city during December and February over the last few years

Of course, the unseasonably warm temperatures happened last January, too. The cherry blossoms in Central Park bloomed around January 2nd, according to news reports (http://cbs5.com/watercooler/cherry.blossom.New.2.278143.html). And from WCBStv.com on 1/7/07: "Thousands Flock to Central Park To Enjoy the 28th Straight Day of Above Normal Temperatures" (http://wcbstv.com/topstories/weather.new.york.2.241221.html). 

You really do see or hear just about everything in NYC...

Manhattan may be chic, but we still have our nutcases! Take a look and have a laugh:  :)

*From yesterday's New York Times:*

Corpse Wheeled to Check-Cashing Store Leads to 2 Arrests

By Bruce Lambert and Christine Hauser

Published: January 9, 2008

Even for the once-notorious Hell's Kitchen neighborhood, it may have been a first: Two men were arrested on Tuesday after pushing a corpse, seated in an office chair, along the sidewalk to a check-cashing store to cash the dead man's Social Security check, the police said.

For the rest of the story, (it's worth reading the whole story, trust me!), check it out at http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/09/nyregion/09dead.html?scp=2&sq=dead+man+chair. [Having once worked in the newspaper industry, I'm not comfortable with copying the entire article here--sorry!]

Try it sometime...

Going out with people from your company whom you don't normally see can be an enlightening experience. Seriously.

I went out Friday night with two production people I work with, but don't usually see much of-- they work on a different floor, and we interact only occasionally when we're working together on a particular book. But a while back, I was invited to a get-together of people from different departments, and I had a good time, so I've gone to a few other get-togethers since.

This particular event was only the three of us, but it taught me a lot about how little we take the time to understand other people's jobs and their points of view. If we'd only communicated a bit more on certain books, we might have avoided some problems and delays between departments!

Well, I know better now. If I can help generate some communication between my department and others, I'll consider it a good day's work. Thanks for the insight, guys!

Success!

How satisfying is it to be able to teach something new about any subject to someone who knows far, far more about that field than you do? I'll tell you--it's fantastic!

A trio of authors sent us a disk that was supposed to have complete page files and all artwork from their self-published book, which would make our jobs easier and the book relatively inexpensive to produce. If we had to produce it from scratch, it would cost us more than we wanted to spend, but they already had the page files assembled from the previous edition of the book. Piece of cake, right?

Not necessarily. First, the disk wasn't readable on the designer's Mac. So I took the disk to my PC, copied the files to my desktop, and burned them to a new disk (which now worked). However, there was one small problem: three files on the disk--one of them a KEY file we really needed!--were corrupted and the computer couldn't recognize them. Do we try bugging the authors for another disk? What if the file is corrupted on their computers? Then there's no point making a new disk, is there?

But I remembered a computer trick someone had taught me over a year ago: Quark or InDesign page files--or any computer files, really--can sometimes become corrupted if the filenames lose their endtags: .jpg, .tif, .psd, .eps, .doc, etc. But if page files in Quark or InDesign get corrupted, try renaming the files with .qxp on the end--it sometimes tricks the computer into thinking they're perfectly good Quark files.

Before I bugged the author for a new disk, I wanted to see if this trick would work, so I suggested it to the designer, who was going to try it on the three files we couldn't open. A few minutes later, I got an excited phone call from her: it totally worked, and the files were now useable! She knows so much more about production than I do-- how is it I was able to teach her something? Score one for seemingly useless pieces of information!

Peter P., I owe you a drink for that trick!